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From Being Abused to Being Blessed: Jane’s Story

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by Guest Author, Jane Gibe

I was a battered housewife and just figured that was the way things were.  I had a child at 20 and loved him.  I had him till I was rushed by three big men.  They had to pry him out of my arms.  I was beaten and when I came to he was gone.  I stumbled out of the door and ran to the police station to report that he was taken.  It was my in-laws and when I gave them the name they put it in.  These men looked at me and said if I didn't leave they would arrest me.  They had found out that he was the Chief of Police of Birmingham Alabama.  I sat in the floor and cried.  I knew I had no one. 

By the time I went back to the house everything was gone; clothes furniture.  All I had was the clothes on my back and a pair of flip flops.  I walked till it got dark and I went and slept on the beach for almost a week.  I went to the service station to go to the bathroom and wash my face.  I was hard headed and determined I had to pull myself together. 

I walked back to Charleston and saw a small sign in the window of a small restaurant.  I walked in and I knew I had no money or a place.  God opened a door.  I went to the manager and told him I would wash dishes in the back if he would pay me.  I needed a job and he could tell I had been roughed up.

I filled out a paper and he said “It looks fine”. 

He took out his billfold and handed me $30.00 and said to go and get two black skirts and a pair of white sneakers.  I cried.  He asked me where was I staying.  I told him I didn't have anywhere but would be back at 7 am for the morning shift.  I walked to a small store and bought the things I needed.  I went to the service station and cleaned up and was waiting for him when he opened the door.  He made me breakfast and I worked all day. 

He ask me if I knew where the main road to the Navel Base was.  I said yes.  He pointed to the phone and gave me a number and he said just tell him who I was.  I did.  The man said he would meet me on the first street.  He opened the door and we walked in.  It was small but furnished efficacy.  It was just fine for me.  He said $80.00 a month and everything was included, and he would take weekly payments if that was fine.  I said sure.  I reached into my pocket and he said the payments would begin the first of the month. 

I slept for the first time.  I woke up early and was there when the man opened the door.  I handed him $5.00 and told him to keep track of it.  He smiled.  I started to make a few friends and most of them were sailors.  I had use of cars when they went to sea and I did laundry and took care of their pets. 

Things were going fine but I had a hole in my heart and cried a lot.  I got by.  After about a year I saved enough money to go to Alabama and wanted to see my son.  I could not leave the room.  The following month I went back and they had moved and I could not find them.  I lost.  I tried to get one with life and just figured life was not fair. 

I came home one day and I was surrounded by the police.  They came out of my apartment with a bag and they were going to arrest me.  I couldn't figure it out.  The man across the way came out to defend me. 

I asked “What am I being charged with?” 

They said marijuana possession.  I looked and said that isn't drugs.  I broke the lid to the Italian Seasoning.  The cop opened the bag and he said she is right. 

I had to move around because I was being stalked by them.  I started to work a couple of jobs and met a guy.  He brought me to NJ.  I settled into somewhat a normal life and we decided to get married. 

On the way back to the apartment I said “You Mother gave us a spread”.

All of a sudden he opened the door and threw me out of the car moving.  I rolled off the road and stood up.  I was in the middle of nowhere and walked back.  He was there eating a sandwich and told me how worthless I was.  That was the begging of the nightmare.  He would always say he was sorry and he would never hit me again.  You want to believe it so you go on.

I had my first daughter.  I had one dress and no coat.  I started to walk to church and I had to be back before He was.  I had to have dinner ready and if not.  I would get a lashing so I had to keep up.  I bought a ringer washer and dried diapers on the Franklin stove.  I pulled the wood in and had to keep the house warm. 

My daughter was only about three months when I got sick.  I went to the doctor only to find out I was going to have another baby.  A lady became my friend and tried to help.  I wouldn't go to church if I had marks.  It was I who took the beatings.  Between the yelling and degrading of my dignity I felt worthless and trapped.  He moved us again and again. 

The girls were four and five.  I started to buy things and resale.  I had a small business going; cleaning houses and reselling.  I was doing better as long as I stayed out of his way.  He started to notice he could cash in.  I told him how and what to look for.  The next thing was yard sales and flea markets.  I was running all of the different businesses.  He was happy.

Then I found out I was going to have another child.  He kicked me in the stomach till I lost it.  The doctor was a little curious of why.  I never went back.  I didn't talk much and cried a lot, but I just thought this was normal.  No it is not.  I began to faint and got sick.  I had sold everything I had cause I didn't want to have any more children.  I had to go to the doctor only to find out I was with child.  The doctor told me to get dressed and I will meet you in the office.  It was then I was faced with the cold truth.  I had Cancer.  He suggested I abort and have a hysterectomy.  I couldn't do it.  He said fine.  I had to go in and have a biopsy every month.  If the cancer looked like it was taking over and growing fast I would have to deliver then. 

I made it the nine months.  It snowed and it was blizzard conditions.  He dropped me off across the street and I had to walk to the hospital.  It caused the labor to start and the nurse called him back.  The guards were called cause he was cussing me out for having to come back to the hospital.  The team was called and my third girl was born and she was fine.  I had lost a lot of blood and they put a plea out for anyone who could donate in my name cause I wasn't going to make it. 

People came and I pulled out.  A friend came to pick me up and take me home with my other girls.  She was so upset cause I had to make breakfast lunch and dinners and he had just pulled them out of the fridge and ate and threw them in the sink.  It was pilled and so were the clothes.  She called and had a few others come and do things and get me back to rights.  I was so grateful. 

I can't recall how many times I had been punched in the face and kicked to the side at sales or Auctions.  People would ask if I need the cops.  I just said no.  He was my husband.  It hit me when I was called at a home where I was cleaning that my girls were out in the street and a neighbor had them.  I then found out he was locking them out of the house so he could watch porno films.  I had enough.  I had to scream “enough”.  Every time I went to leave the deacons would show up and called to me attention.  "Wives be submissive to your husbands".  It took me 13 years to just put a stop to it. 

I went back to school.  He had everything three cars and the money the house.  He had it all.  I took nothing but the children in tow.  My father and brother bought me a Alabama State car at a car auction and it had no heat and it is so cold here in NJ.  I am proud to say I got on my feet again and received my degree for Teaching.  One Paper I wrote was almost the same as this.  Why Women Accept Abuse. 

If you are reading this, go to your Bible and look up the verse.  The Deacons were correct in saying “Wives be submissive to your Husbands”.  But it goes on to say “Husbands love your wives as Christ Loves the Church”.

Now you think I live in shame and fear?  No, believe it or not.  I am not sure of why God Loves me so much.  He sent a man into my life and a family of a Godly mother-in-law and his siblings that surrounded me with love and grace.  Why do I deserve this?  I am waiting to ask God when I see Him face to face.  I have been married for a little over 18years.  We do not fuss or argue.  We do not look at money as an idol nor do my children that this Godly family has taken in.  They have raised me up and loved me.  My friends that know us just shake their head.  We are just so happy and laughter fills our home.  The grandchildren we have just loves us, and if someone is down  we lift them up.  If someone needs help my husband is the first to reach in his pocket and give when they take up collections at work for someone being out and in need.  I have seen it.  He takes what is in his pocket and hands it to them. 

You need to hear this: read John 3:16 and place your name in the spots where whosoever or where it says God so Loved_________ He gave His only Son for_________ that if you accept Him you will have eternal life.  Think upon this old life and make sure you are in check.  You are not guaranteed the next breath.  There is no expiration date.  Don't let this pass you by.  You are worth your weight in gold to Him.  You are a million dollar baby.  You are not replaceable.  You are needed by your children and by Him.  If He can use me, He can use you.

In His Love,

Just Me

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jane Gibe lives in Southern NJ with her wonderful husband Robert.  She has 4 children (3 girls and 1 boy).  She has 8 Grand Children and is a devoted Christian.  She runs a Military Ministry and does a Nursing Home Ministry once a month.  She moseys over a couple of times a week to visit at the nursing home.  She teaches with the GCN network.  She loves to knit and make baby blankets with booties and hats for the women that are in the States while their husbands are away defending freedom.  She does some for others also, and enjoys just giving them away.  She loves to make people smile.  She loves animals and wrangles them out of the road at times. 

1 comment:

  1. Male and female abusers tend to have high rates of personality disorders including borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder. Although emotional abuse doesn’t always lead to physical abuse, physical abuse is almost always preceded and accompanied by emotional abuse.....
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