You Can’t Lose!

 
I’m very excited to launch Breaking the Window.  First, let me tell you a little bit about myself and my story.
 

I’ve had a Rather Difficult Life, but I’ve Come Out the Other End Happy.

 

I was born in Fortune, Newfoundland. I now live in Barrie, Ontario. I was Social Phobic, right from kindergarten. Back then they didn’t have this label and they certainly didn’t know it was a disorder that needs attention and treatment. I saw it as rejection. I never asked questions in school, and usually cried if the teacher asked me one. Fear, anxiety, and feeling of not belonging have always been a big issue with me.
 
I was a sick child, and spent a lot of time in the hospital. I never thought of it as abnormal. It was just life to me.
 
I have a rather normal family (whatever that means), and a large extended family. I have two younger brothers; and my parents are still alive and married after almost 50 years. We lived in the country growing up, and I was a tomboy. I loved my dolls and such things in my room, but outside, I was riding my bicycle and building a tree-house with the boys.
 
I always felt that I was I was an outcast from the outcasts. I went into my first big depression in the 5th grade, but I told no one. From that point on I had a difficult time making and keeping friends. I was molested as a teenager for 3 years. My first boyfriend died when I was 16. He had Cystic Fibrosis.
 
I’ve had a lot of abuse from men in my life; mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially. I am a survivor and proud of it!
 
I was married and divorced. In 1992 I was involved in a 6 car pileup on an icy highway. I spent the next 2 and a half years recovering.
 

If I was Strong Enough to Pull Myself Up, You Can Do it Too!

 

There was a time when my mental health got to the point I had memory gaps. I was in a rapid decline and aware of it. I had a disabled boyfriend who took care of me, instead of the other way around. I didn’t trust doctors anymore. I knew if I didn’t pull myself up, no one would. I knew I had to do something to get my life back. I believed if I landed in the hospital I would never again see the light of day. Fear was an incredible motivational force within me for the next several years.
 
I started learning how to live healthy. I figured that I can’t have a healthy mind if I don’t have a healthy body first. I focused my days on working out, eating right, and educating myself with the 1 goal of saving my own sanity before it was too late. I lost 75 lbs. Then I focused on changing my mental health. I started with positive affirmations written on index cards. After some time, it was working. Now I have people telling me I am an inspiration. It’s very humbling.
 
My Pastor also helped me realize in my quest for a healthy mind and body, I was forgetting a 3rd and vital aspect – my spiritual health. This was more than a light bulb moment. It was whole Christmas tree – with the flashers on! There are 3 parts to health; body, mind, and spirit. If one is not healthy, all 3 will suffer. Pastor also led me through the process of forgiveness which, as it turned out, I have found to be vital for my own mental health. For the first time I understood it. I forgave my abusers, the childhood friends that hurt me, and others. The bad dreams finally stopped. It was all gone.
 
Over the years I had been given a number of diagnosis’, but during that summer of 2010 that I was finally given a proper diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder – Type II. Plus, my healthy eating plan taught me certain foods were triggering some mood swings. Certain processed foods, artificial sweeteners, and fat-free foods give me bad bipolar episodes. Other foods like berries, almonds, and spinach help to keep my moods up. I have started a book project (that is yet to be given a title) outlining my whole healthy living journey. I’ve also finally found a good medication regimen that is working.
 
Now, I’m happy. I have BPD, but I’m functioning well. I live alone and I’m independent for the first time. Plus, I’m starting a new career as a writer and speaker. My motto has always been “don’t ever give up.” You may have bad days, weeks, or months; but as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will not fail! Do not ever quit! You are worth the effort.
 
Please leave your comments in the space provided below. 
I would very much appreciate your feedback.  Thank you. 
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6 comments:

  1. Carly, this is very well written! I believe it will launch you to a level of recognition if you continue on this path. Give GOD the glory! He is worthy~

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    1. Thank you so very much. I'm really excited about this mission. I know God has a plan for this site.

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  2. I've suffered from depression ever since I had my two kids. I have taken anti-depressants ever since then. One book that has helped me in my life is "Victory over the Darkness, Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ" by Neil T. Anderson. Realizing that I'm valued by our creator is the best thing in my ongoing recovery.

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    1. I hope your recovery continues. Even though there is no cure, it can be overcome. Keep the faith. Thank you so very much for the book recommendation!

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  3. Carley, thank you for being so frank. It encourages myself and I know others. It makes my shoulders sit a little more comfortable to know I'm not alone. I look forward to learning more about you.

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    1. Thank you so much LaceyKyle. It encourages me to keep writing when I know it's helping others. Hugs

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